Checking In on the Heart?

Posted on Sat Jan 11th, 2020 @ 2:52pm by Lieutenant Commander Charlotte Hudson & Lieutenant JG Ayden Kennett

1,664 words; about a 8 minute read

Mission: Mission 2 - Love ORION Mistaken
Location: Bec's Quarters

Ayden had been distracted, but not seemingly like everyone else on board. Something was going on, but his mind was only on one thing: Bec. He wanted to check on her, and figured now, when they were both of duty, might be the best time. He'd given her some space but now his heart was aching and he wanted to see her.

Stepping up to her quarters, he pressed the chime and waited, hoping she was okay with a visitor.

Bec waited a moment before going to the door. She opened it and sighed with relief when it was Ayden. "Hey, come on in," she said softly, looking down the corridor in both directions before ushering him in. "You ok? You look... worried?"

Coming inside, Ayden waited until the door closed before speaking. "Overall worried, but worried about you with all that is going on with the crew. You doing okay?"

"I'm... fine," Bec said with a shrug. "Same as always. Though I'm worried about the crew. Something isn't right here," she said with a frown. "I just can't figure it out." She muttered something as she moved into the kitchen space of her quarters. "Tell me, have you spent any time with Vivyra?"

Following but allowing Bec to have space for now, Ayden shook his head, "None. Nothing has felt right, you're telling the truth there. I've been worried about you more than normal though, which...okay I haven't seen you for a while..maybe that is it?" He wanted to go and wrap her in a hug and comfort her, but didn't know what it was that she wanted.

"I have been busy," she said, almost regretfully. "Sorry," she added, then leaned against the counter, completely forgetting what she'd come into the kitchen for. "I just... don't know what to do. Something is off and I can't figure it out. It's driving me crazy!"

"Hey, shhh," he said as he walked over to her and put his hands gently onto her arms, "You aren't the only one. I've been trying to figure things out while working and...everything about all of this seems off. But I don't even know where to start."

"Neither do I," she said, softening slightly at his touch. She sighed and moved to rest her head on his shoulder, though kept her arms crossed over her chest and her body away from his. "I just don't know what is going on. Or if I'm overreacting. Is there a danger to the crew? I don't know. But I don't like any of this."

Wrapping his arms around her, he laid his head on top of her's. "Most of the crew is not themselves. Barely anyone is focusing in engineering, or really around the ship. I don't think this is just you."

She felt herself melting and her heart started racing. Out of fear, she stiffened and pulled away. "I'm sorry... I... just... sorry," she muttered, turning away from him and picking up her kettle. She filled it with water, then set it on its base to boil. Then she pulled a teapot out of a cupboard, along with two mugs and a ceramic jar of loose-leaf tea. She scooped some of the tea leaves into the pot and replaced the jar's lid before placing it back in the cupboard. Still, she stayed with her back to him, standing awkwardly.

Ayden backed off and frowned. "It's okay, Bec. I can go if you want me to." He didn't want to, he was afraid of how she was acting and what it could mean. But he wasn't going to stay if she didn't want him to. "I'm just...worried. You don't need to be sorry."

"You don't have to go, I..." She stopped, toyed with one of the mugs and frowned. "I just have some leftover PTSD from my time as a captive... you know my boyfriend at the time essentially set them up to kill me? For no real reason other than to save his own ass. And yet, he's still out there, somewhere. Living as though nothing happened." Her tone was not angry, though it should have been. Rage and vengeance boiled in her veins when she thought about that jerk and what he did to her. But here? With Ayden? She was more sad than anything else.

He listened, very carefully. He wanted to wrap her in a hug again, but, decided to keep his distance. "I..can't fix the past, Bec. No one can. No one can change it. But, we can decide what we want for the future."

"That is true," Bec said. "But deciding I want to be happy and panic free doesn't really work that way," she said as she poured the hot water into the pot. "It takes time to push through anxiety. And there's no rushing that," Bec turned to face him finally. "This," she gestured to herself. "Is what you get from me for now. Take it or leave it."

"It doesn't matter what you're going through, Bec," Ayden said as he took a step closer but still didn't get too close, "If this is what is going on right now? I don't care. I will do everything I can to help you through it, if you'll let me."

Bec turned back to the tea, carefully pouring it into the mugs. She then handed him a mug and stood holding hers, facing him again. "You know you're the only person I've admitted all of this too. And until she noticed a difference in me, I hadn't even told Jane about the nightmares. Wouldn't have if she didn't notice and say something, but I didn't tell her what the nightmares are about."

Taking the mug, Ayden let it sit and warm his hands. "I'm glad you told me," he said softly, giving her a warm smile. "Its never anything I'd use against you. I care about you too much to do that. I want to help you find some way through it though, even if that means just standing here and talking, I'll do that."

Nodding, Bec moved to lean against the counter again, holding her mug. "Thanks," she said softly. But then, she had a loss for words. What does one talk about after such an admission? She didn't know. So instead, she stood there, letting the tea warm her hands. Looking awkwardly at the dark liquid in her cup.

Walking a bit closer, Ayden lifted Bec's chin and then kissed her cheek gently. "We're still okay you know. You don't have to be afraid to tell me anything."

Smiling, Bec looked up at him. "I am not afraid to tell you, I'm afraid to remember. I don't want to remember it all," she said with a sigh. "Sorry, I'm just... on edge. Between the memories resurfacing and the crew being weird. I'm uneasy and that's putting it lightly. I just don't know what's going on and that bothers me."

"You've got every right to be on edge. Given all of this, I'm surprised more people aren't. But," he set his cup down and looked into her eyes, "Maybe talking about it will help? I know it isn't what you want to focus on right now, but maybe it'll help with the uneasy feeling? If not, we can just sit, listen to music or whatever you want to do."

"I've talked it out with T'Kal and Cindy, unless you have any other insights into Vivyra or the situation, I don't think any more talking is going to help," she said, then sighed. Bec placed her mug on the counter and have him a quick hug before slipping past him and moving toward the couch. "Music is good," she added, turning on a playlist of rock music from the 1960s to the 1990s. "Especially the good stuff!" Bec grinned as Carry on my Wayward Son by Kansas started playing.

"Carry on my wayward son, for there'll be peace when you are done! Lay your weary head to rest, don't you cry no more!" She sang along, moving to the beat of the music.

Grinning, he followed her and gently kissed the top of her head, "I wish I had more to say that was going to help with that. But for now, let's just try to relax a little to the music."

She tried to let herself go, to just be in the moment with Ayden and the music, but her mind just wouldn't shut off. Even as she danced about the room, singing along to the music, that nagging voice in the back of her head continued to sound the alarm.

Noticing she was still distracted, Ayden frowned. "Do you want me to go, Bec? I really don't want to...but if my being here isn't helping..." He sighed softly, "I can't focus either. Things aren't right, and I don't like it."

"It's not you," Bec said shaking her head. "It's the situation on the ship, I just can't seem to get my mind off of it. Something is bugging me. I'm sorry..."

"Hey, no need to be sorry. I can't either." Ayden rubbed her arm gently. "We can still talk it out if you want but I know researching it is likely the best thing. However, we can't without raising suspicion. I just...don't know what to do either."

"I know something that will get both of us destressed and not thinking about anything else," she said softly, taking his hand and pulling him toward the bed.

Ayden couldn't help but let a grin cross his face. "If you're up for it," he whispered and moved himself closer to her, very gently lifting her and kissing her lips.

"I'm always up for it," she whispered against his lips. Her arms snaked around his shoulders as he lifted her and she grinned as they stopped in the middle of the room, too impatient to make it to the bed.

RSS Feed